Episodes

Part two of the three-part series on getting back to in-person networking after Covid is all about how to show up as your best self at the event. In this episode, I cover everything from how to dress for the event, where to stand, how to approach someone, to how to leave the event. I’m going to share practical tips such as how to use power poses to get you in the right headspace. This episode is a deep dive that will leave you feeling confident and ready to make lasting connections. Tune in to learn all about this and more!

Show Transcript

Before you start this episode, make sure you’ve listened to the previous one where I talk about how to find and prepare for networking events — otherwise, you may be a little lost! 

What to Do on the Day of the Event

Now that you’ve determined your goal with networking, you’ve found a few events you want to attend, you’ve researched them, made sure your LinkedIn was top notch, and you’ve Tweeted about the event, you’re ready to start thinking about the day of. 

My cardinal rule for networking events: don’t go with your buddies. This may feel like the easier option, but it won’t help you network. One time, my business coach and I were going to the same event. Right before, she emailed me and said, “I’m going to give you a big hug when I see you and I don’t want to talk to you the rest of the night.” Remember: you are there to network, not to hang out with someone you already know. 

How to Dress for the Event 

Dressing for the event can be stressful. So do your research and see if you can find out what the dress code might be. You can look up photos of previous events held by the organizer. If they have a social media page, you can check out their tagged photos on Instagram or Facebook. If you’re still unsure, you can always ask by emailing the hosts. 

Pro tip: wear something unique. It can be a great conversation starter and will help you seem more confident. You can wear a bright colour or have an interesting necklace or headpiece. The shoes you wear will also be really important as you don’t want aching feet to force you to leave early. Always opt for comfort over cuteness in this case!  

How to Get into the Right Headspace for the Event 

Right before the event is when the nerves kick in. Exercise can help burn off some of that energy if you have time beforehand or consider walking to the event as a way to clear your mind. 

It’s also important to fuel your body before you go. Even if they have appetizers there, you might not get the chance to eat if you’re busy networking. When I interviewed expert networker, Jackie Porter, she told me about a time when she showed up to an event hangry – you know, hungry to the point of anger – and the only food they had was chips. Instead of focusing on the people, all she could think about was her grumbling stomach. 

Another way to help with nerves is power poses. The term was first coined by Amy Cuddy in her TED Talk about self-confidence. The idea is that doing poses like the Superman pose can help you feel more confident. It may seem silly, but I do it all the time before I’m about to do a public speaking event, and it really helps.  

What to Do When You Get to the Event

It’s completely normal to feel anxious as soon as you get to the event. You might begin to question why you’re there, want to bottle it up, and leave. Don’t. Resist the urge. Feel the fear and stay. Even as an expert networker, I’ve felt this way at times, and I pushed through and ended up meeting people who have changed my life.

First, when you get to the check-in desk, scan the nametags to see if you recognize anyone. This could also be a great time to introduce yourself to the organizers as it will be less busy at the start. They are usually well-connected and can introduce you to interesting people. As someone who has organized a lot of events, I can tell you that we really appreciate getting to know the attendees. 

Now may also be a good time to meet the speaker if that was your goal. After the event, they are usually swarmed with people, and it may be harder to have a meaningful conversation. Basically, being an early bird is always better. 

Where Do I Stand at the Event?

One of the most important things I learned about networking was from my business coach, Judi Hughes. In fact, it helped me land a lucrative deal. She told me to stand by the bar or the buffet table — that’s where people who don’t know anyone hang out. People will inevitably approach you as that’s the easiest way to start a conversation with someone. You can talk about the food or drinks until you find a natural lead to a different topic.

How to Approach Someone You Want to Talk To

I know this part can be a little nerve-wracking. How do you know if it’s a good moment to approach someone? First, put your phone away. It might seem like an easy crutch if you are on your own, but it will only come across as disinterested. 

You can often tell whether someone is open to talking based on their body language. If you approach them, and they don’t seem interested, try not to take it personally. There are usually other reasons that have nothing to do with you. 

Try to look for groups of three to approach. Two people who are talking may be friends or engrossed in a conversation and not want to be interrupted. Stand near the group and ask, “May I join?” They are usually always happy for you to do so and quick to catch you up on the conversation. If you see someone by themselves, go and talk to them. Often, they are the most nervous and are relieved to have someone come up to them. 

How to Have Good Body Language

Your body language can dictate the tone of a conversation. Look directly at the person you are speaking to and position your feet in their direction as it will show them you are present and engaged in the conversation. But don’t stare either! It’s normal to look away every now and then, but not in a way where it seems like you’d rather be elsewhere. 

A genuine smile always makes you seem more approachable. Try to avoid putting your hands in your pocket or crossing your arms. If you’re not sure what to do with your hands, it can help to hold a drink. 

How to Be a Good Conversationalist

You’ve spotted someone you want to talk to and you’ve approached them, now what? When you approach someone, ask them about who they are and what they do. Don’t talk about yourself first. When they speak, listen carefully and show genuine interest in what they have to say. Just like you have an “awesome list,” find out what makes them awesome. 

It’s important to network not just with people higher up than you, but with people also at your level or people who have less experience. Everyone has something unique to offer. 

Remember how I’ve said networking is about helping others succeed? Find out if they’re struggling with something you can offer advice on. I would ask questions like: What brought you here? Are you working on anything interesting?

Also, don’t be embarrassed to take notes. I would wait until after the conversation and use the Notes app on your phone or a notebook. It will help when you send those follow-up emails, which we’ll talk about in the next episode.  

How to Politely Exit a Conversation

You’ve met someone great, but you still want to talk with other people. How do you politely leave the conversation? Sometimes, honesty really is the best policy. You can simply say, “It was nice to meet you, but there are a few other people I’d like to meet. Let’s keep in touch.” And don’t forget to get their contact information. 

How to Leave the Event

Before you leave, remember your goal. Did you accomplish it? If not, consider staying a little longer to get that one last contact. Remember that 2-3 contacts is plenty. For some people, introverts especially, in-person networking can be exhausting. Give yourself permission to leave even if the event is still going on. 

If you really enjoyed the event, make sure to let the organizers know. They love to hear it and will be more likely to remember you for next time. 

Thanks for tuning in to Connect and Bloom — a podcast that empowers women to master the art of networking and make life-changing connections. Got a burning question about networking? Share it below, or shoot me an email at despina@connectandbloom.com If you want to explore this topic further, head on over to the Connect and Bloom website, follow me on Instagram or Facebook, or — if you haven’t already — subscribe to this podcast. Be sure to connect ~ and bloom ~ with me again in our next episode!