Episodes

In Episode 5, I got to interview Government Relations Consultant, Author, and Founder of Bstellar Group Inc., Stacey Berry. Stacey and I met a few years back at a Lean In event, and — surprise, surprise — the two of us share a passion for networking. Which is why I was super intrigued to learn about her year-long “digital detox.” Tune in to find out what this is, and how it can lead to networking breakthroughs.

Show Transcript

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Despina Zanganas  0:07
Believe it or not, I used to be absolutely terrified of networking. No way. You. Yeah. I’m the host of connections. A transformative podcast designed for women looking to harness the power of networking, make life-changing connections and improve their personal and professional lives in ways that they could have previously only imagined. Because I truly believe that inside each of us is a social butterfly, just waiting to bloom.

Stacey Ann Berry is an author, Government Relations Consultant and the founder and president of Bstellar™ Group Inc., which provides professional development workshops as well as, consulting services in government relations, community engagement and strategic planning.

She has a master’s degree in Public Policy Administration and Law as well as, an Honors BA in History and Law and Society from York University.  She also has a diploma in Court and Tribunal Administration and a certificate in Alternative Dispute Resolution from Seneca College.  She was recognized as one of the 100 Accomplished Black Canadian Women in 2016.

Despina Zanganas  

Stacey thank you so much for joining me today. 

Stacey Berry

It’s such a pleasure to be here with you Despina. Thank you for having me as your guest. 

Despina Zanganas

So Stacey, I’d like to start off with this question. Haven’t we originally Connect? We connect a few years ago now at a lean in event and I do know it was downtown. on King Street and it was such a phenomenal event. And that’s how we first connected. So now I’d like to start off with this question. Tell me a little bit about your business and how you became an entrepreneur. What really motivated you to start this business. I’m what I call an accidental entrepreneur because my plan A and was really my only plan was to be a lawyer and not getting into law school actually led me to this path of working in politics which piqued my interest to then get my Master’s in Public Policy and really explore the world of public affairs and have a good understanding of what that means as well as public policy. And so I started my company to fill what I noticed to be a huge void in the Public Affairs sector here in Canada, which does not have enough women or people of color talking about issues that are relevant to them. So in my company, B still a Group, Inc. We essentially create strategies to foster the development of sustainable, equitable and inclusive communities. We help our clients understand government mandates, policies and guidelines for funding programs. And we also offer professional development workshops. That’s amazing. I think it’s your I agree with what you said. It’s such a something that’s needed in Canadian politics and Canadian Society for sure. So can you tell me how networking comes into play with your business? Sure, networking, I would say is the glue that keeps my sector together because it’s all based on cultivating relationships, key relationships. And it’s important to learn how to be strategic and intentional about the places and spaces you’re in because you want to be in the right places to meet the decision makers and community builders influencers, and even the gatekeepers, right because there are a lot of gatekeepers in certain sectors, especially in the political world. And so you have to have those skills of knowing how to connect to the right people build and cultivate those relationships. Yeah, that’s such a great point. I didn’t really think about that the gatekeepers are really the people that you need to connect with. You can’t, you know, go to that to the top people right away. So you have to kind of figure out how to navigate that very strategically, like you said, and delicately, delicately as well. Exactly. And then showing that respect, because sometimes people underestimate people based on their title as an assistant or an EA. They just want to go straight to the Minister. They just want to go straight to the Chief of Staff and it’s the title that they think right. And so you have to really understand the structure of how it works and the important role that schedulers playing assistants play and building relationships with those people and also valuing the work that they do.

Despina Zanganas  4:23  

I actually remember hearing about that or reading about it in one of my favorite books. It’s Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi. He was talking about how he made the big mistake of ignoring the admin assistant, and he got blacklisted he never got on

Stacey Berry  4:42  

the CEOs calendar and all that kind of stuff and he learned his lesson. And finally he you know, treated everybody with respect and it all worked out in the end and he talks about how it’s so important to talk to be nice to the gatekeepers and respect them because exactly, sometimes they hold the most power. Right exactly. And they keep the engine going. Absolutely. So what is your, your definition of networking? Um, for me, my definition of networking is really about you know, making, making connections, but then the ability to reconnect and follow up with past contacts, so it’s very easy to just meet people and then it just fades away. There’s no follow up. There’s no engagement there’s no really trying to understand the person around like what they may need and how you can contribute to them and add value what is their interest? So I see it as a long term relationship and being able to understand you know, who are your professional connections and who, you know, personal connections, there’s people who have met at events that have become friends, different places I’ve worked at, that’s become friends of mine. And so being clear on the type of relationships that you’re building as you’re networking and not going with it with this perspective that what can I get out of it? So I really go with a concept of net giving, which was actually coined by Tim cork, he is a well known Canadian author. And so you want to go with this this perspective of you know, how can I add value how can I invest in this person? What resources do I have that I could perhaps share with them? And then it’s, you know, hopefully reciprocal and it’s about sharing information, receiving information and then expanding your network so that your professional network or social network is diverse? Yeah, I think that’s so such an important point. I mean, I remember we talked months after you came to the Lehman event and you were telling you about a different people that you connected with at that event, and I think one of them was like Courtney Charles, and he worked for the Toronto Raptors and

Despina Zanganas  6:41  

he got, you invited him to talk at one of your events and it was really successful. So I think you’ve made some great points. And I’m still pretty much in contact with him. That’s awesome. Right? So you know, just before the pandemic, you kind of just disappeared from social media and I noticed that I was with Stacey go, I don’t see her anymore. And I think I actually looked you up and I was like, where’s her Instagram account?

Stacey Berry  7:12  

Go post as the jetsetters would say I did I went ghost off of social media. And this is after being on there for six years, you know, building a huge following, right? I did have a couple of 1000 both, you know, Instagram, Twitter, and I was busy. I was doing the stories. I was getting the hang of it loves it. You know, it was fun. But then I came to a point where once I decided to be a full time entrepreneur, I had to do my own internal audit as to how can I best use my time and his you know, social media give me the return on investment that I expect and it’s not just about the return on investment because I have met some great people through social media. Some have actually become friends of mine, which is great. And I’m still in touch with them. But then I realized, is this really about just getting millions of followers and if you do, you can’t really build authentic relationships with millions or even 1000s of people, right? They just become like these names on a screen and you know, I want to stay with an authentic authentic life as much as possible. And I’m just like, I found myself spending just too much time. And then I found the content within as you know, there’s a lot of research on the algorithms just kind of shifting in a way where I almost saw I was thinking different about certain things or getting certain emotions that weren’t necessarily positive. So I decided to just kind of walk away, shut it all down. I really reflect on the best way to maximize my time as a solo entrepreneur. Because when you’re first building your business, you know you’re you’re spending a lot of time in isolation a lot of time by yourself and you want to tap into your creative juices, and you want to take the time to think of really consistent and ways to build your business that has a long track record. And I thought to myself, you know, these big companies got on the stock market before their social media. Right? They’ve been able to grow and expand what are the traditional things that they have done that have lasted the test of time that they’re still doing? So that’s when I start to think about email marketing and doing one on one, you know, video calls and pitch, you know, pitches to potential clients and taking time to actually develop a pitch deck so that I was able to better explain what it is I do my business, the services that I provided, the values that I’m adding, and so I find that taking that break allowed me to take the time to do that and put the right building blocks in my business making sure that I had you know, my financials were in place, you know, my having a good lawyer on point and just making sure that those structural things, payroll, these are the things that a lot of entrepreneurs may not think about until their business becomes really big, and then they realize there’s some key things they didn’t have in place that they should have had in place from the onset. So that’s kind of one of the main reasons that motivated me and again, of course a content was going in a way that I found to be a bit toxic, to be honest, and then just doing the research as to how it impacts your your health. Right. You’re spending all this time on forms. And there’s a lot of research about how it leads to depression and anxiety or heightens that for people who already have it. Even poor postures with how we’re holding our phone and for how many hours and then the blue light that gives the sleep problems and just just a lot of research. So the more I dug into, you know the impacts on health I’m like I think a digital detox is what I need. So let me unplug because you know, plugging in all the time. It’s not necessarily good for our mental health actually, what our article about it, where I share strap strategies on how to do that effectively. Because doing it cold turkey may not work for everyone. Some people may just have to put limits on how long they use their phone, you know, put their phone in different room and they go to bed. So it’s not the last thing they look at when they are going to bed and the first thing they look at when they wake up. And so it’s just about us being more intentional strategic about how we use social media so that we can get the best value out of it. So depending on your business type, you may not need to be on every platform. So I decided to get back on LinkedIn because it works for the service model of my business. And I think it’s a great platform for what it is I need to do. It’s really hard to just be on all of them and keep up with everything.

Despina Zanganas  11:00  

Yeah, that was actually one of my questions. So which ones did you actually join? So you said LinkedIn and the only one?

Stacey Berry  11:06  

Yes. So I got back on LinkedIn. And one of the things I decided to do was maximize email marketing, right. I built a pretty decent subscription list over the years, and I just wasn’t engaging as much. I wasn’t sending out my newsletters consistently as I need to because I spending too much time on social media, sending out my messages that way. And when you have a specific audience that you can target through email marketing, for me, it brings better value to your business because you’re talking directly to your supporters and your target audience. Whereas on social media, you’re talking to everyone but if you have a product to sell, that mass marketing may work for you. But when you’re in a service based business like myself, I didn’t find it as an effective way to to to market my business.

Despina Zanganas  11:46  

Yeah, I definitely think it depends on what kind of business it is, you know, like so for me as a real estate agent. Being on Instagram is is important because people want to see houses and stuff like that. But I know what you mean. It’s really exhausting to be on all these different platforms.

Stacey Berry  12:06  

Finding different content, and I can’t remember where it was but I saw something and this woman was like I just started decided to start a new business. And now I learned that I have to be a performer. Meaning like Tic tock you know, you have to do all these like dances that are trying something that and it’s just like it’s almost an authentic. Exactly, exactly, exactly. So and that’s the key part. We want to be authentic and everything we do. So how long did this digital detox last? Well honestly, I was able to keep this thing up. So when I shut down I would say around January I did not the only thing I did look at to stay updated with you know, the US because it was around the time of the US elections and everybody knows a lot of things were happening. I did peeking on Twitter because you didn’t have to have an account to see what’s happening right but I actually didn’t log into my Facebook for that whole period until I think it was yeah, pretty much almost a year. I just left it right. And so I found it to be very refreshing as well because like I said I focus on other things even my own well being and just connecting with nature and being outdoors and I recently started you know, getting into music and writing and expressing my creative side. So it really allowed me to tap into that energy, tap into positive energy protect my mental health in terms of what I’m feeding my mind in terms of the content that we see on replay which of course was not positive, especially because of some of the summer protests in the West race. You’re seeing it on mainstream media. We’re seeing it on social media, we’re seeing a lot of these negative images on replay. That’s very traumatic for a lot of people in our community. And so I found the timing for me was good considering some of the things that was happening and there’s other ways I could channel my energy even to address some of those issues outside of a social media platform.

Despina Zanganas  13:48  

So a lot of people use social media to network. So how were you still able to network? I mean, first of all, we were kind of during COVID. And on top of that you were out, you know, not on social media.

Stacey Berry  14:02  

So how did you keep up that network during this time? Right so my network networking continued to grow virtually right we do have the benefits of all these virtual teleconference type platforms. So one of the things I decided to do like I said, I really believe in investing and others before I receive is just give back to the community by hosting free workshops with a friend of mine who’s a teacher on just mental health and how people were having a hard time living in this isolation because of the lockdown measures and things like that. So we did a lot of free gift back to youth and just, you know, talking to them, giving them tools and resources, where to look for support. And so doing that kind of work, kept me focused kept me busy, but also I was meeting you know, great people through the email connections, email introductions, doing one on one, you know, meetups with people that I have connect with at the events that I would either host virtually, or attend virtually. So there’s actually a lot of cool people that I’ve met virtually we haven’t met in person yet. But I met virtually I was still expanding my network and then I recently spoke at a US Conference. So I find myself speaking at now to us conferences, and making even wider connections with all types of people from all types of sectors in the United States, which was amazing. And then doing podcast interviews like this, and then of course, doing the outdoor events when I could when it was safe to do so and so those were the ways that I still continue to network and meet new people reconnect with old friends with those Yeah, so strategies.

Despina Zanganas  15:25  

So it sounds like it actually worked to your advantage because it made you think harder about where to network as opposed to just being so easy. Right, you know, like go to event meet somebody out of comments on LinkedIn. Yeah, you had to kind of rethink how you did things.

Stacey Berry  15:43  

Exactly. I had to really rethink I did think and then broaden my horizon where I really thought outside of the country that I’m in right because the world is huge and it’s amazing and and I’ve been able to participate, whether I’m hosting or speaking at Writers Conference, because I am an author, and make connections with people who live in Africa, right? It’s been amazing Australia because there’s so many different groups that I’ve plugged into that were really maximizing the virtual space and some of these conferences have had 1000s of people people from all across the world from Europe, and I’ve been able to now really make these global connections, which I think is really critical. Yeah, I found the

Despina Zanganas  16:18  

same thing during during COVID. I’ve connected with people from all over the world and that never would have happened if it wasn’t for COVID it’s it’s really interesting how these things kind of happened. So I’d like to switch to that. Do you think it’s important for people to network?

Stacey Berry  16:38  

I think it is important for people to network because I always say no one is an island right? And you know, if you want to make an impact in society, you can’t just think about your immediate circle and your own immediate needs. You have to think about the community and the world around you. Right. And I think it’s really important for us to develop the skills to be someone who, again is not just a taker, but a giver. And you have to have information and resources to share to invest in others, right. And so I think networking is a really good professional skill to develop as well as you know, personally because you could practice public speaking and become a better communicator, the more you do it. And so it really is important. That’s a great point. And it actually leads me to my next question.

Stacey Berry  17:21  

What networks have you found? Really work for you? Like, is it alumni maybe like work events or industry events?

Stacey Berry  17:30  

Yeah, certain groups have been helpful. So I mean, my first introduction to being able to network I was about 19, which is being exposed to my own immediate community. So in the black community, we have so many amazing professional associations. So my first career choice was to be a lawyer. So my very first type of networking events were hosted by a lot of the black professional associations that are out there, right. So going to their galleries and their meetups and their workshops. really allowed me to just be an observer at first because I wasn’t always as you know, I guess extroverted as I am today took me a while to build up to having the confidence to put myself out there and essentially introduce myself to a stranger, but I was around people who were able to do that effectively. They would bring me along and Hey, meet my assistant Stacey or meet my friend Stacey. And so that helped helped me to build that courage to starting, you know, with your own immediate community, where you might feel more comfortable, because there might be, you know, shared interest in values is where I first started, but in that professional setting, because I wanted to be a lawyer, I associated with people who were lawyers and went to a lot of legal events, and then I started to think about business. A little bit. So I’d go to professional networking events that were exclusive to the black community, which was also interesting. And then I tapped into woman events for women entrepreneurs and you know, women professionals, and it was really cool to kind of, you know, go to those events and plug into those spaces and just hear from people learn from them. So I spent a lot of time observing how other people network before I started to feel comfortable enough to do it myself. I think that’s amazing. Let’s talk a little bit about the mistakes that people make when they network with do you find that there’s there’s some mistakes that people make consistently. I wouldn’t say it’s consistent because sometimes it could be unconscious. And I think a lot of it has to do with our ability to be good communicators or we’re maybe a little bit weak in that area. And so sometimes people don’t understand the message that they’re sending off with their body language in terms of even how they position their feet as as you know, they always say like, keep your feet straight towards the person you’re talking to, as opposed to away from them because it looks like you want to leave the conversation. You know, don’t keep your hands in your pocket because it makes it look like you’re hiding something. You know, so those little tips are things that people may unconsciously do because they’re just habits that they have and they may not know they’re sending off those cues around maybe not being interested or engaged and then also cutting people off in a conversation and not learning how to include someone else who might be standing around. You could tell they want to say something but you’re so focused on that person you want to talk to you don’t take the common courtesy to say hey, how are you and just talk to that person as you’re waiting to talk to the person who they might be waiting to talk to right because I’ve been in events with a lot of high profile people. And there’s a long line to talk to the high profile person. It’s not to say you can’t say hi to the person beside you behind you and just start talking to them because you never know who people are. Right. And that’s the kind of habit that I have because I’m trying to also include people in conversations and then if I already have a connection to that high profile person, I will do that introduction for them, right? Because I remember what it was like when I was in their shoes didn’t know anybody in a room and you know, someone introduced me to somebody and so I think it’s those habits that you know, we need to kind of address and be aware of so that we can you know, be more effective in our body language and how we interact and spaces around everyone and not just think about who we want to talk to, you know, really look around the room. Right and acknowledge everyone from the person serving the food, right? You just you don’t know. Like, for me, I’ve learned that as a habit. Right? You say hi to everyone. You acknowledge everyone because everyone’s important, and sometimes we get caught up in titles and we only want to network with people that are at a certain level, you know?

Despina Zanganas  21:14  

Yeah, I think you made some great points like the people that are really good at networking. Watch out for the people that look really shy so that you can bring them along in the conversation. I

Stacey Berry  21:25  

think that that is so important and don’t discount anybody. I mean, I remember my mentor, we would have these breakfasts and she would always talk to the waiter find out you know, like he was obviously a bit younger on the younger side. So he was doing this as a side job. But he was actually going to school for marketing. And so she was talking about really learning about everything. So he got to know her, you know every time she came in for breakfast, she would talk to him and she was like so have you joined my mailing list because I see it’s great tips about marketing and I don’t know where that led to I don’t know if they’ve actually done business but it was a great lesson for me to see how never discount anybody because I don’t know where they’re going to be in the future. And it’s not that it’s it’s because you want something from exactly, but it’s just, it feels good to help somebody that yes, and just acknowledge right and not people just want that acknowledgement that you know, they matter as well. And I think that’s important that we don’t want to lose sight of that.

Despina Zanganas  22:28  

So speaking of of networking stories, do you have a really great networking story that you wanted to share?

Stacey Berry  22:33  

I do, but it was many, many years ago, but it’s fresh in my mind like yesterday, so I had the privilege of being an intern for Local Initiative Support Corporation, the largest community development organization in United States. I was in Washington, DC life changing, motivating me to get my master’s. But what was interesting, I was at an event hosted by Habitat for Humanity was a luncheon. And the keynote speaker was President Jimmy Carter. He was going through some health challenges at the time. So there were some rumblings and media about his health, and we weren’t sure if he would show up. So my manager said, you know, we don’t think he’s gonna come. So just you don’t have to come. But I’m like, I’m gonna go anyway. I just want to be in the room with whoever else is in the room just to be in the space. I’m an intern. I’m young. And he showed up, you know, in jeans and a jacket, I did have a chance to shake his head and say hello, and I was like, wow, this is amazing. Very humble guy just has a heart for the people. And that’s what I found most impressive, right? There was no big entourage at all right? But who also caught my attention was the MC who happens to be an award winning music or for ABC at the time, and I was just kind of curious about different careers. I might do, right. I was thinking of law school again, I’m like, should I apply again, so I was going to a lot of school fairs and I said, maybe journalism, I like to talk. I was going to, you know, school fairs and information sessions on journalism school. So I went up to him and I said, You know what, I’m Stacey. from Toronto. I’m an intern. Can I interview and he looks at me he’s like, interview me. I go Yeah, I want to learn what it’s like to be a journalist. He’s like, really? Okay. gives me his card. Now, at that time, I didn’t have a smartphone. So I was able to even Google this gentleman to see how big he was right? So I didn’t have that accessible I had to go back to my dorm, my little apartment and you know, look up things do my research after the fact. And that was also very interesting considering how how much things have shifted with having information right there in front of you through a smartphone and not right so I’ve kind of lived in that world. And so what was interesting, it took longer than I expected to secure what I call the informational interview. I had to follow up several times several emails, phone calls, follow up and follow up and I finally got a response and he said, Okay, we could do this over the phone and I said, But I prepared questions in advance for you to review. He said in that case, you can come down to the ABC News has headquarters. I wasn’t kidding me. I went an hour early like I was I never think I slept that night. I was like, There’s no way I’m gonna be even late for this to just be super. So I was super early, not knowing I would get a tour. I mean of the whole space, and he gave me two hours of his time. Wow. And I mean, the information that I got was like, just life changing in terms of how to move up in your career, how to interact with people how to value everybody, his story. He was at CNN and it was just amazing to hear his story and to meet somebody who was so gracious to take the time out of their very busy schedule, and give me the inside scoop of what it takes now to be a journalist because of the digitization of their jobs. So I got a sneak peek to what we’re now seeing today, where you don’t just have to report the story, but you have to be you know, a videographer almost and kind of capture things and then maybe edit your story and have all these different skills added on to your job that you really didn’t have to do before. Right because of the quick access to getting things on social media, which kind of is now pushing the narrative in a different direction with how we receive news. So that was life changing. I would say it was a really good experience. And that was my my highlight of a networking story. So like meeting a president weeding award winning, you know, journalists was just, it was really amazing. Wow, you had to be really brave to do something like that. As a young person. Good for you, right? I mean, what what did you learn from that? Is there anything that you could share with other interns about that about being brave and say I was fortunate enough, like I said, you know, earlier on, you know, I have a mentor. Her name was Margaret best. She was the first African Canadian woman to be re elected in the province of Ontario. So I worked for her as a staffer. But what’s interesting is that you know, she’s someone who brought me along right to help me build my courage and confidence to be in these spaces with powerful people. And you know, introduce yourself and get comfortable talking to people and also being yourself in the process and also understanding to just let your work speak for itself, right and not even to be so hard on yourself with these things. So by the time I was out in DC, I felt like you know, I was trained a little bit and being in these spaces, I could go up and say hi to the President. And these were the things that you kind of learned in time, but you have to also be groomed you have to be surrounded with people who have your best interests at heart and be someone who lifts as you climb, right. And that’s something I learned early and I continue to do that to lift as I climb, and you know, you know, invest in young people and bring them along and bring them to these spaces and connect them with people as well. Because I remembered what that did for me right?

Despina Zanganas  27:34  

It sounds like it’s something that you’re really passionate about I other younger people along the way and journey that’s having Yeah, you also I think you also mentor don’t you for I do.

Stacey Berry  27:46  

I mentor I mean, I’m an I’m an alumni of York University, but I was also part of their Black Alumni network and you know, we were hosting in person events, virtual events, really outreaching to young people. And there’s a number of organizations where I donate my time as a speaker, to kind of help new graduates or existing students transition from that student mindset to going into the workforce and loving them understand it’s not just about working for others. You can build your own company, you could start a young, you don’t have to be a certain age to be entrepreneur, and really helping them build those kinds of professional skills and the confidence that’s needed to put themselves out there. Because it’s a very competitive workforce and the rejections of you know, not being able to get a job can be really hard on a young person who doesn’t have those expectations that you’re not going to get a job with your first resume application. You may have to put out hundreds of 1000s like I did over many years to even get an interview right because it’s very competitive. And so being able to kind of have those conversations with them and give back to them and give them the tools that you know they may need to thrive is really important to me. So I know that you’ve been on several boards. Do you think that’s helped with your network? Well, I’ve been on I’ve been on two I’ve been on a community board a nonprofit board as well as a municipal board with the City of Toronto. That’s helped me more with I would say developing leadership skills but also the ability to speak at speak up in spaces that may feel intimidating because when you’re a board, there’s a lot of things happening because you’re now in the space and at a decision table right with elected officials and community members because I was a citizen member. And then you’re at in a room where there’s media, there’s people from a community who may not be happy with a certain issue on the table. And so you have to now develop a different type of skill that is essential for networking as well such as your listening, listening to understand not listening to respond, right because too often we listen to respond or we listen, we respond with assumptions without gathering all the information without asking the right questions, and making sure we just don’t impose our ideas as a decision-maker but it’s the ideas of the community. What matters to the community, really using that empathetic skill and putting yourself in the shoes of a mother for example, or a person who may have lost someone to the Fentanyl crisis because those were some of the issues for the board that I was on in terms of health. And so you have to use a different type of skill. So yes, you’re building professional relationships with other decision-makers, but you realize there’s other types of skills that you have to tap into in that type of setting.

Despina Zanganas  30:26  

Yeah, I love that. You mentioned empathy. That’s definitely a great skill when it comes to networking, right to actively listen and put yourself in the other people’s shoes. And it makes it less transactional.

Stacey Berry  30:40  

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. That’s That’s what people think of network, a lot of people not everybody, but it’s a transactional process, but it’s not it’s not it learning about the other person and providing help and stuff like that and I think maybe that’s why I love networking so much. Yes, that’s what it’s all about.

Despina Zanganas  30:57  

Exactly. That’s what it’s about. Yeah. You and I have talked about this a few times. And you talked about how you’re very active in black community networking events, you know, sometimes especially like, women’s events are something like that. They’re not necessarily so inclusive. Obviously, that’s a problem. Or, you know, sometimes you go to an event and it’s obviously a boys club. So how do you

Stacey Berry  31:26  

step out of your comfort zone and kind of show up in those spaces. that are outside of your comfort zone and things like that? Right? It just you just have to show up and then get used to the uncomfortable feeling that it gives you don’t be afraid to sit in the front. Don’t be afraid to sit at that all boys table. But hey, I’m Stacey. Let’s talk right and voicing your opinion your concerns, your insights, breaking bread, and you know, bringing other people along to spaces that might just have everyone who looks like you or vice versa because we need to kind of go across these lines in these boxes that we create in our society and have really truly diverse networks of people of different backgrounds, ethnicities, and so forth. And so it takes practice to do that to kind of stepping out of your skin stepping out of your comfort zone and what you’re used to. And just being in someone else’s environment, but understanding their environment you know, respecting it, disrupting it, if it needs to be disrupted depending on what you know, space it is, but I think just the more we do that is the more we can build an inclusive community.

Despina Zanganas  32:29  

I actually think that goes both ways. So one of the events are really like is how she hustles and I’ve seen you there at that one right. She actively encourages people from all communities.

Stacey Berry  32:40  

Although it’s predominantly black women who attend this event, but it makes me realize when you’re the one of like three white women in the room, like you know, I’ve been at this event, right? It you know, we’re talking about empathy before you realize like, it can be kind of scary when you’re the only person in that room that looks and then you build that empathy when you actually have that feeling of what it’s like to be the only writer it’s the only woman the only person of color even the only white person in an all black space like you’re describing. And then when you know what that feels like. When you go back to your community where you do see one person of color then you should question that and be like, Why isn’t only one person of color and how can we get more wiser to women or, you know, whatever it is. And so then when she experienced that it gives you that empathy or the awareness to recognize and when it’s happening within spaces, you’re constantly going to all the time perhaps, you know, so there’s just a different way we can think about it’s also that silo, right? People tend to stick to these silos, whether it’s professional silos or community silos and not be open and explore other communities and just learn right, because I think it’s about learning from each other.

Despina Zanganas  33:49  

Absolutely. I think I think that’s absolutely a great point.

Stacey Berry  33:53  

So how do we change that? I mean, I’m not asking you to change I think if we build diverse friendships, we build diverse companies. Because people hire who they know people, right that’s the reality they don’t know they know how to people hire who they know, right? And so if you’re if your immediate circle your personal circles, not diverse, you just gonna keep hiring. You know what I mean? Who’s in your network? So we have to start with the young people, the students like we have to get people to build you know, relationships, diverse relationships, because then as they go out into the world, and they’re building these companies, appointments are being made to be the head of the CC and the C suite leadership positions. You know, they can tap into diverse pools and networks, and then that’s how we can kind of change the face of leadership. So I think there’s this pattern that’s happening in the background and they keep saying, oh, where’s the pipeline of diverse talent and black talent and we don’t see it like it’s right there. But if it’s not in your immediate circle, you don’t realize that it’s they’re looking at you because it’s not within your world. And so I think if we start there, perhaps I think that’s so true. Because, yeah, I think, I think of like boards, for example, you know, they’re predominantly by men, and you know, it’s men that tend to know each other, you know,

Despina Zanganas  35:18  

on the golf course, all time, high and out. Right. Exactly. And I think that we have to look beyond that. And I think it’s so important to have diverse people in your community, like actively go out to events, like, you know, how she hustles or tamma women rising. Oh, yeah, that you know, just put yourself in those spaces to make sure that you can include people when you know time for a promotion comes or something like that. That’s why for me, it was so important to attend different kinds of events to just expose yourself to different communities and stuff like that. I mean, I grew up into in downtown Toronto, so it was like, it was pretty diverse anyways, but I do think it’s, it’s important to actively do that.

Stacey Berry  36:03  

Right? And then don’t be shy. Like if someone invites you to a golf tournament. It’s like, but I don’t know how to golf. Go and just see, right and I’ve done that. So, these are the things that you know, we can do and again bring other people along with you, right? If there’s a doors of opportunity that opens never walk through it alone. That’s

Despina Zanganas  36:22  

something I always say. Yeah, that’s, that’s so important. So, um, you know, anybody’s listened to my podcast before. They know that I have this question. It’s called the six degrees of separation. And it’s a concept that everyone is no more than six degrees away from everyone.

Stacey Berry  36:40  

And, you know, is there anyone out there that you’ve always wanted to meet? And obviously I’m asking that question, because I want to know if there’s anybody in mind, who listens to this show that can connect you and so I wanted to meet I’ve always wanted to meet Carla Harris. Carla, when I first stumbled on this lady, her book strategize to win, like she talks about the mentorship and the sponsorship and really how to move up in your career. She has a podcast access and opportunities. I mean, just, just just It’s dynamic. Brilliant. lady who’s you know, this top executive at Morgan Stanley, and, you know, just her story and her tenacity and Her Grace and her poise and her insights I just find to be very motivational, very, you know, eye opening, and so she’s someone that I would like to meet if possible, and just have a conversation with her and just soak up knowledge right and just to learn from someone like her. And she’s also someone has a big passion for community and is involved in our community and gets back a lot and kind of has those check marks that I that I admire, right, because it’s not about just living a life for yourself. It’s about leaving a legacy making an impact investing in the lives of others. And I see that. And Carlos. You know, it’s

Despina Zanganas  37:51  

so funny. I had never heard of Carla Harris, three weeks ago, and this is a second time in the past couple of weeks that I’ve heard her name so I heard her name. I actually was like, Who is this person that you know, this other person was talking about? And I like looked her up and LinkedIn

Stacey Berry  38:08  

and go wow, pretty impressive. Yeah, indeed. I can completely understand why you’re you’re interested in meeting her. Yeah, of course. The other person actually would say the same thing. They’d love to find out who she is. And she was asking another podcaster who was interesting. She was talking about how her podcast was really great. So yeah, I haven’t listened to it yet. But it’s definitely good access and opportunity. You got to plug in. A link to it in the show notes for sure. So if anybody knows Carla Harris, you know, definitely reach out to me. And let’s see if we can get Stacey connected. That would be amazing. Right. So Stacey, before we go, you know you have a poem from your book, deeper reflections on life that you wanted to share and it relates to our podcasts I’d love to hear it can you share certainly certainly is called keep shining your light from my book, deeper reflections of life. When you feel like your strength is wearing thin. stay hopeful and depend on your faith within. Allow patience and love to be your guard. These are the jewels you’ll need when life gets hard. keep shining your light through life strains. Sometimes it has to rain to wash away the pain. After moments of sorrow the sun will shine tomorrow. Sometimes you have to fall to learn how to stand strong and tall. You may not achieve everything your heart desires, but you can strive to live by the principles you admire. Don’t waste time or run through life too fast. Savor each moment because you never know which day will be your last during the darkest moments in your life. keep shining your light because that is when it’s most bright

Despina Zanganas  39:56  

I love that. Thank you so much for sharing. That’s a wonderful poem. Yes. And actually I lied. I said that was going to be the last question but it’s not. Is there anything else that you wanted? to kind of reiterate Are you wanted to add about networking that we actually haven’t added to this conversation? Certainly I want to reiterate, I guess a couple tips, my top three tips on networking, which we talked about, and it’s about stepping out of your comfort zone right? So don’t be afraid to go to events. That are even outside your sector. You know, my backgrounds public policy, and I started to go to tech events and that just opened my mind to a whole world of how public policy intersects with technology. For example, practice public speaking right take the time to understand your body language, what messages are you sending? Right and how will you listen? How will you engage and express your thoughts? How can you be better at that? And lastly, have a fluid elevator pitch so you don’t want to just stick to one way to introduce yourself and say you know what you do? You want to make sure that that’s fluid and adaptable depending on the environment you’re in who you’re speaking to observe their language and and what they’re saying before you introduce yourself, right and so make sure that your elevator pitch is fluid and you practice public speaking and step out of your comfort zone. Yeah, you know what? Number three I think is a great point because a lot of people just have that one elevator pitch and it might not be appropriate for all different for Yeah, for different events kind of thing. So you need to learn how to adapt and like really listen to you know what’s going on in the room, like, you know, read the room kind of thing. I think that’s so important. So, Stacey, if anybody who wants to get in touch with you how can we do that? Obviously it’s not through Instagram right? The best way is email right on we’re just go to my website be stellar group.com Or if you want to learn more about me personally with workshops and my past speaking engagements, Stacey and Berry calm and just, you know, send me an email, you know, be happy to connect and chat and you know, that’s how you can stay in contact with me. Stacey, thank you so much. It was wonderful to see you again or listen to your voice and chat about networking with you. I really appreciate you joining me and I appreciate the opportunity to be on your podcast.

Despina Zanganas  

Thanks Stacey. 

Thanks for tuning in to Connect and Bloom — a podcast that empowers women to master the art of networking and make life-changing connections. Got a burning question about networking? Share it below, or shoot me an email at despina@connectandbloom.com If you want to explore this topic further, head on over to the Connect and Bloom website, follow me on Instagram or Facebook, or — if you haven’t already — subscribe to this podcast. Be sure to connect ~ and bloom ~ with me again in our next episode!

Stacey’s Links​​

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/stacey-ann-b-603b89215

Website: www.staceyannberry.com

Website: www.bstellargroup.com

Stacey Ann Berry’s book
Deeper Reflections of Life: Words To Inspire The Heart and Uplift The Soul