Episodes

In episode 3, I’m captivated as I chat with award-winning career strategist, TEDx speaker, and changemaker, Chanèle McFarlane. And no wonder — she’s been recognized as one of the Top 100 Black Women to Watch in Canada and is a Top 25 Women of Influence. An on-air career expert, Chanèle has appeared on Breakfast Television, CHCH Morning Live, Rogers TV Ottawa, and The Morning Show. So I’m more than a little honoured that she agreed to sit down with me today. Tune in as we talk about:

• why personal branding is critical to networking success
• ways to make events more inclusive of people of colour
• the importance of representation on panels and in the room
• how introverts should navigate networking events
• networking no-no’s (including an embarrassing networking story!)

Show Transcript

Each Connect and Bloom episode is transcribed using Otter.ai. While our team is busy correcting typos where possible, it’s inevitable that some mistakes will be missed. (We’re only human!) With this in mind, please forgive any errors when reviewing transcripts, and feel free to report any issues here.

Despina Zanganas  0:07 

Hello everyone! Thank you so much for being here! On the Connect and Bloom Podcast. My Guest today is Chanele McFarlane. here

Let me tell you a bit about Chanele, Chanèle McFarlane is an award-winning Certified Career Strategist, TEDx Speaker and Writer. Through her website, Do Well Dress Well, she has built an international audience around her practical and personable career advice. Chanèle’s expert commentary has been featured in media outlets such as Fast Company, Elle Canada and more. She is also an on-air career expert who has appeared on Breakfast Television, CHCH Morning Live, Rogers TV Ottawa and The Morning Show. Chanèle has been recognized as one of the Top 100 Black Women to Watch in Canada and one of the Top 25 Women of Influence.

Chanele, thank you so much for joining me today!

Chanele McFarlane  0:58 

Thank you. I’m really happy to be here.

Despina Zanganas  1:02 

So, I’d like to just dive right into my first question, and it’s a question I ask all of my guests how did we originally Connect.

Chanele McFarlane  1:11 

Well, I was remembering, and I know that you sent me an email. So I remember like coming home after work one day and I worked downtown so I had this long commute came home and I was checking my emails, and you invited me to a networking event. And the reason why I actually remember it is because no one else has done that before. Like I had never met you and it was really cool because you said well I followed you on Twitter and I’m really intrigued by the work that you do. And, you know, I’m hosting this event this evening. I’d be happy to extend you an invitation if you’re able to make it. And I wasn’t able to make it. Unfortunately, but that has always stuck with me because I just thought it was such a unique way to approach someone again like just wanting to make that connection right away, providing value. And so yeah I think eventually we did meet up eventually for coffee which is great but again it just it really left a really lasting impression on me.

Despina Zanganas  2:03 

Oh that’s great to hear, I mean that’s always something I look out for, you know I look out for interesting people on Twitter or LinkedIn or something like that. Right to just reach out and connect and you know, lovely.

Despina Zanganas  2:26 

So can you tell me a little bit about your business or the work you do, and where networking really comes into play?

Chanele McFarlane  3:01

Absolutely. Well, I, so I have a day job My background is in marketing and communications. And so I would say like prior to the pandemic because as we speak right now I’m on maternity leave, I was working in a role in employer branding which is essentially HR marketing helping the company position themselves as an Employer of Choice helping them to attract top talent and so networking was a really big part of my role and pre COVID I was always at networking events I was posting events on behalf of the company, having coffee chats with people that were interested in working there so networking was everything for my role but then of course I have this, I guess, other life outside of the office where I am a career strategist I have my website I’m a speaker I’m a writer, always putting myself out there and building my personal brand and so again networking is also really important for that because that’s how I, you know, connect with people like-minded people how do I land new opportunities how I land speaking opportunities. And so, networking is just essentially my whole life. And it looks very different now of course due to COVID but I would say it has really been the key thing that has helped to advance my career and unlock different opportunities for me.

Despina Zanganas  4:12 

Yeah, for sure. Before we start talking about networking, I really want to talk about personal branding because out of anybody out there, I feel like you’ve done such an amazing job with your brand. I absolutely love it and I have people who approach me and they say, you know, how do I develop a personal brand and the first thing I say is, go check out everything that’s Chanele McFarlane is doing. Well, the thing is you provide such great content like there’s some PowerPoints that you’ve done and I’ve downloaded, I thought this is great so I’ve passed it along to so many people. So can you. First of all, explain what a personal brand is and why it’s really important for networking.

Chanele McFarlane  5:01

Yeah, I mean, first of all, see I know that personal branding is a really confusing term and I don’t know if anybody’s ever googled personal branding but if you google personal branding There are over 400 million results like there’s a lot of content on personal branding. And I think right now it has really become this buzzword that we just sort of throw around and nobody really understands what it means and also how to take, how to build a brand from scratch, essentially. So the way that I define it and I’m sure other people have different definitions, but the way that I personally define it is the intentional act of crafting your personal or your public persona sorry to advance your career. And the key word for me in that definition is intentional right because whether or not you choose to actively you’ll build a personal brands you have one right we all have a reputation we all have what people think of us, you know when you know that saying when you’re not in a room What do people say about you that’s your personal brand. Right. And so I think when you actively build it that’s being intentional about how you want people to perceive you. And I would say is really this mix of your values and expertise, how you combine those things with things that you’re passionate about and how you share that publicly.

Despina Zanganas  6:07

That’s a great point. You know, one of the things I’ve personally noticed about personal branding, or developing your own personal brand is that it can become really overwhelming. Right. Like, I often look at what you do for example, and I’m like, how does she have the time to post on LinkedIn. And you know, create this beautiful website and write all these blogs like how do you not get overwhelmed by all of this?

Chanele McFarlane  6:35

That is a very good question and it is an overwhelming process, and I say, you know, five, six years into actively building this brand for myself, I feel like now I’ve gotten to a place where I have a bit of a method but in the beginning, when I was figuring things out there was a lot of trial and error, I spent a lot of time trying to figure out what worked for me what kind of content work for me what kind of voice I wanted to have. But I think for me right now what I actually do is usually, when I can every Sunday I sit down and I call it like my personal brand hour or multiple hours depending on how much time I have, and, but I find that having this dedicated day every single week to think about my personal brand and the content I’m going to put out in the next few weeks, has really helped me to be consistent with it and so during that time I’m thinking about okay well what blog posts do I want to write what topics are on my mind. What things do I have coming up. Do I have any podcast recordings Do I have any talks that I have coming up what sort of things should I be including in my content online, and I kind of pull from there and I think about what books I’m reading what Netflix documentary I’m watching. And I always think about those things critically in terms of well how can I share that with my audience how can I tie that into my personal brand so if I’m reading a book there’s a really great line in it and I think you can tie to a really great message or lesson or personal story of mine around careers or personal branding. I’ll make a note of that in my phone and then on Sunday when I’m writing out my content and scheduling things. I’ll go back to that. And that has really helped me with my process so that it’s not so overwhelming where, when I am sitting down and like okay I have to do all the research plus all the writing plus all the content creation. That’s a really long process, usually, on Sundays, I’m just pulling together all my notes from everywhere. Deciding what I’m going to focus on. Then I go into Canva which is a tool I really love you know create the PowerPoints as you said you like, and the social media graphics, I pull that all together and then decide, you know what day each thing is going to go out so that’s my process right now and hopefully doesn’t sound overwhelming but for me, that’s what has really has really worked.

Despina Zanganas  8:27

I think it probably takes years right for you to develop what works for you. Is there a specific platform that you found has worked for you where you’ve got the most interaction and where people have reached out to meet with you?

Chanele McFarlane  8:47

Yeah, so I would say it’s between Instagram, and LinkedIn probably LinkedIn though, and I’m very active on LinkedIn. And I really love it as a platform I know that for a lot of people they find it very overwhelming they’re not sure how to build a presence on it but for me, it has been the platform where I actually feel most comfortable I feel like I’ve really been able to find my voice on there. And I’ve been able to connect with some really awesome people. And I think just the nature of my content again I focus on careers and personal branding, that’s what people go to LinkedIn for they’re in that sort of careers networking professional mindset and so my content just really resonates. And so I would say that’s really where I’ve been able to connect with most people but also land, some great opportunities as well.

Despina Zanganas  9:25

Right. That’s a great point. And so now that we’ve established that you know your personal brand is actually key to networking, how did you personally, learn how to network? Did somebody teach you? Did you read a bunch of books

Chanele McFarlane  9:41

Yeah, that’s a good question. So thinking about it now. I remember the first time I heard about networking, I was in university, I think I was second or third year can’t remember exactly. And my department so I studied communication started to have these networking breakfasts, and they said oh you know we bring in alumni and industry experts, you should come to these things because this is what’s going to allow you to get a job. And at the time I had never heard of networking like for me I was like oh I need to get good grades, and as soon as I graduate I’m gonna roll right into this job and my life’s gonna be so perfect. And then you know here are my professors saying well now you got to network like you need to network and build connections and I was an extreme introvert. So at the time, you know going to an event intentionally like by myself and talking to strangers was like the most terrifying thing ever. And so when they started talking about it. I said, Well, okay, so this is something I have to do and I would go to these events and meet with people and sometimes I wouldn’t always talk and I was always talking to because again extreme introvert, but over time I just started to become a little bit more comfortable, introducing myself and having conversations, but it wasn’t there wasn’t really any point where I would say someone taught me it was just from me, jumping like headfirst into these events and trying to do my best to put myself out there because they knew that helped me land opportunities. And then I started to read some books as well so I started to do some research online and really understand how I could get better at it so there was a book I remember reading at that time called never eat alone and I can’t recall the author’s name right now but never eat alone was a book that I read and I was like wow okay like networking is this whole thing. How do I come become better at it and so from there just really tried my best to get better at crafting my pitch and just becoming more comfortable with having conversations?

Despina Zanganas  11:26

You know, it’s so funny because I’ve already had three guests and every single one has talked about Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi

Chanele McFarlane  11:30 

Oh my goodness. It is really really good.

Despina Zanganas  11:34 

It’s amazing. You know what I read the old version and I’m just in the process of reading a revised version and so in this one

Chanele McFarlane  11:44 

I didn’t know there was a revised version. Okay.

Despina Zanganas  11:47 

Yeah, definitely. Not a lot of the things that he was talking about were outdated right so they needed so they need to refresh those a little bit

Chanele McFarlane  11:54 

I wonder I wonder if he’ll make like a COVID version COVID networking version because I feel like some of those things like never eat alone while you’re kind of are eating alone now.

Despina Zanganas  12:07 

Yeah actually you know you mentioned COVID so why don’t you tell me how COVID has changed the way you’ve been networking.

Chanele McFarlane  12:15

Yeah, I mean, as I was saying I was a big networker before COVID I was always you know meeting up with people for coffee chats I was always trying to use my lunch breaks to meet up with people you know whether it was my own colleagues or people in the industry that either I had reached out to or reach out to me. And, you know, always talking to people online, whether it’s been Linkedin, Twitter any social media and just actively always connecting with people. And so COVID has been really interesting because of course it is really coincided with me being on mat leave. And so when you you know have this child and human that you have to take care of but then also you want to maintain your network and stay connected with people and not feel isolated. It has been really interesting to navigate. But I’ve been doing a lot of a lot of virtual coffee chats which I still very much love to connect with people, and then also phone calls as well just you know when zoom gets a little bit tiring you don’t really want to be on camera, it’s nice just having a phone call, so a lot more of those a lot of FaceTime chats as well. And I was never really a big FaceTime first person, and before COVID but, you know, you got to like these things now just to stay in touch. So, and I’ve adapted it was a bit of an adjustment at first but I’ve adapted and just tried to make the most of it.

Despina Zanganas  13:26 

Yeah, same here I find it really difficult I hate these like video calls, but you know, everybody’s in the same boat. So let’s talk about all your blog posts that you’ve written so you and you wrote one specifically about how you hosted a networking event and no one showed up. And first of all, why, why did you think it was important to the networking event? And what happened and what did you learn from that?

Chanele McFarlane  13:57

Mm-hmm. So, to provide some background. Shortly after I launched the Do Well Dress Well blog, so I launched back in February 2016, and I believe it was early the following year 2017 I launched a networking event series so I met a friend of mine actually through networking so going to a conference just ended up you know randomly or maybe not randomly sitting at the same table, and just started connecting over the fact that we were going to be launching our blog soon we kept in touch became really close friends, we still are. And we decided that we want to host this networking event series we both lived in the suburbs we found as though you know what we always had to go downtown to network, it was so much to have to go downtown. Why don’t we create this networking event series where there’s women like us, that live in the suburbs, but they still want to build their network, but also people that get overwhelmed by these larger events right you know when you go into an event and you just feel like so overwhelmed because there’s so many people you don’t know where to start, you kind of find yourself on the wall holding a drink. And so we wanted to have these small intimate events, and also allow people to connect before the event. So what we would do is we send out the guest list ahead of time so that you can connect on social media connections so that as soon as you come into the room you’ve already sort of made connections with people and it doesn’t feel as intimidating. So we were doing that it was great you know we did dinners we did brunches we partnered with a craft store to do the DIY events and we loved, creating these highly curated experiences. And so, that friend of mine that I launched eventually she eventually got a really awesome job opportunity moved to the Cayman Islands and I decided, you know what, I’m going to continue this series on my own and got another friend on board and we’re going to continue it. And so we started to have some dinners, and there was one dinner I wanted to have one evening at a restaurant who believed this called Scadabush. And, you know, put it out there said hey if anybody’s in the area after work, just wants to grab some drinks after work, talk about vent about work you know share a win, whatever it is, come together so I did everything like usual created the Eventbrite page, post it on social media reached out to a few people that I know that were in the areas. Hey, just having this dinner come together have some appetizers, whatnot, it felt pretty normal I did everything that I normally do. And so, you know, day of the event came, and I think it was supposed to start at like six o’clock 6:30, and you know just like waiting at the table 630 hits and you’re like okay like people are gonna start coming, and then we like looked at the door and like we’re getting all excited and like 630 passes I’m like oh you know people just late, late from work, it’s fine. Now 640 comes like okay like no one’s here yet like checking my email like seeing if I’m getting any cancellations I think I got one cancellation, out of, I think, 10 or 15 people that had signed up. Eventually, you know seven o’clock hits and I’m like oh I wonder if anybody’s gonna come I’m like starting to nibble at the appetizers like starting to get hungry. Anyways, long story short, nobody shows up it’s like 730, nobody’s there, I’m feeling embarrassed because you know the waiter is coming around like more people coming? Should I take the place and I’m like no no like. They’re like, definitely, it’s gonna be fine but like try to preserve my ego because I’m so embarrassed and but eventually like it’s eight o’clock, realizing you know what nobody’s coming nobody’s messaged me. It’s just me and again the friend that I brought on to help me host these events, and just feel like, you know what we’re just gonna have to say let’s just go home. Nobody has come, and it’s like it’s fine you know what like some things have come up I’m just trying to get preserve my ego but I remember just getting in the car and I was just crying all the way home because I’m like wow this is so embarrassing, nobody showed up. You’re like thinking it’s all me and yeah so as you mentioned, I wrote this blog post about it and it took me. It took me a while I would say to get to the point where I can actually write about it number one without crying. But number two to get to the point where I felt comfortable enough to share that and not feel that same level of embarrassment. And it was, it was really tough I think this again Do you think that you’re just doing this great thing, pulling people together and for no one to show up you really take that personally. And I would say the lessons that I’ve learned from that are number one. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about because a lot of people go through it, and it was really interesting when I put out that blog post, I had messages from so many people, you know, different like men women all over the world that reached out and said, Oh, like I hosted an event, and no one showed up but I never shared it and I actually like took a picture where it made it look like there was people but not really because I was just really embarrassed to like let people know that nobody showed up like those are the extremes that people go to because again, we want to preserve our brand and our ego, and you know other people as well just like sharing their stories so I found that to be really interesting the fact that we just don’t feel comfortable enough sharing our failures. And then the other thing I would say just also from an event planning perspective I never used to charge for those events, it was just drop in, you know, pay for your own food. And I would say sometimes that can be tough in terms of people’s commitment when you don’t necessarily pay for something, you’re like well you know what after work. I’m tired I’m gonna go home it’s okay I don’t need to show up I didn’t pay anyways it’s fine and I find sometimes having that cost, even if it’s like 5,10 dollars, it’s more likely that people are going to show up so that was just another lesson for me but overall, even though it was a really tough career experience I think it is really made me a stronger person. And even though in that moment I’m like, you know what I’m so embarrassed. I’m going to shut down my blog. I’m going to shut down everything like I can’t even show my face in public anymore. And it has made me who I am today and it’s given me a really interesting story to share so,

Despina Zanganas  19:35

Yeah. It’s a great story, what you said about charging for events, I learned that like, as you know, run a ton of events in the beginning they were free. So our attendance was roughly about 40% of registrants, but the minute we started charging it was about 85%, so it’s it’s so interesting people, because people think that I just want to donate to the world and you know introduce people to one another and, you know, share out of the goodness of my heart, but the fact is, it’s going to be more effective once you charge and you feel guilty but you know at the end of the day, it’s a better turnout,

Chanele McFarlane  20:12 

if we’re gonna do exactly exactly I completely agree.

Despina Zanganas  20:23 

And I love that people actually connected with you I mean that’s a form of networking right so you took a failure and made a networking event.

Chanele McFarlane  20:26 

I did not even look at it from that perspective but it’s true. Does it really it was almost like this icebreaker like I put that post out there and people are like you know what this made me feel comfortable enough to reach out to you. This is what I had gone through like thank you so much for sharing this because I feel like I can now share my experience and I’ve had people where after reading that they actually shared publicly their experience and they tagged me and said you know what, I wouldn’t feel comfortable enough to share this if Chanele wasn’t first to do that so I was like you know what. Yes, it was an embarrassing moment for me it was really tough but maybe I was just had to be that first catalyst to say you know what it’s okay to fail publicly. And now, if you can do it you can learn from it so.

Despina Zanganas  21:03

And that’s a great part of your personal brand right like being vulnerable.

Chanele McFarlane  21:05 

Exactly.

Despina Zanganas  21:12 

Have you had an amazing story that came out in networking like did you meet somebody or did you meet somebody who introduced you or something?

Chanele McFarlane  21:20 

Yeah, That’s a good question. Um, I would say yes so that would be the first person that I was so, when I started the networking event series back in 2017, it was with my friend. Jean and as it was I think I’d mentioned earlier, we had met at a conference I think it was called spark session, back in the day it was for people that were interested in fashion and blogging and at the time that was really where I saw myself fitting in when I launched Do Well Dress Well I saw myself as being a fashion blogger and I’ve since pivoted but that’s just where I thought that my place was and so she was also at this conference we sat at the same table, you know started chatting there with different networking activities and icebreakers and we just really connected and hit it off and I remember, I think it was a week after she was working and doing pr at a hotel downtown and Toronto, and she invited me to come by the hotel come for coffee

And give me a coffee and again, I thought that was really unique or unique way to reach out. From there we stayed in touch. We launched the networking events but she’s also one of my closest friends. She Since his moved to Cayman Islands I’ve gone down and spent a week with her, we have right now we’ve had a monthly facetime.chats just to keep in touch. She got married during COVID and I attended virtually and she’s someone that I met, just because we randomly, you know, sat beside each other at a conference and so I say she’s probably one of my best networking stories because I never imagined that I could really find like one of my closest friends and do an event like that yeah

Despina Zanganas  22:47 

Yeah you know that’s so amazing I’ve heard so many stories like that where you come to an event for business, but then you wind up meeting somebody who becomes like a really close friend, I have to say, like, that’s happened a lot of times for me personally. Yeah, I’ve had both aspects you know like someone whose business and then we made friends out of it but I think a little bit different for women for example because women really want to connect on a personal level, level before they actually do business with somebody.

Chanele McFarlane  23:26

Yes, which could be a good and bad thing.

Despina Zanganas  23:28 

Very much so. Like, obviously generalizing but like you know men tend to be like let’s just get down to business. Yeah, we can help each other and all that

Chanele McFarlane  23:38 

Yes, there’s a lot of research behind that I think is called a networking gap where they say yeah like men are very direct down to business when they’re looking for people to connect with, they don’t necessarily care if they could see themselves being friends with the person they just, you know, want to get what they want to get out of it and that’s it. Women when we network we’re more looking at people in terms of friendship like who could we actually see ourselves being friends with, and we take that same mindset and we approach. You know who we want to network with in terms of, well do we actually see ourselves having a friendship with them. And in a way, I think it’s good because we end up developing closer relationships and we end up with these really fruitful friendships, but at the same time we may not necessarily get ahead in our career because we’re just focused on the friendships and people can help you and not be your friend right so you kind of have to, you have to be strategic in how you approach things just because you may not see yourself being friends with someone doesn’t mean they may not be valuable and may not be able to help you move forward in your career.

Despina Zanganas  24:33 

Right. I think that’s one of the things that women, not all women, obviously need to learn is even though you develop a friendship, how do you develop a business relationship, you know be willing to ask and do feel like a fraud and don’t feel like you’re using somebody if you ask. Most times people will want to help you, you know

Chanele McFarlane  24:54 

Yeah and we got nervous to ask like well you know what like we’re already friends and I don’t want them to think weird of me and No. You know, we get in our own head about it and the men are like no, I don’t care. They don’t even think about that they’re like, let me just get right to the ask so you know it’s interesting to see that difference.

Despina Zanganas  25:10 

Yeah, exactly. So, I see that that brings me directly to my next point and I want to talk about diversity and inclusion, you know, a lot of times people stick to people that they know, and I’ve seen in your blog post that you post a lot about diversity and inclusion and the importance of it and stuff like that. So, how do we make diversity and inclusion, or how do we make networking more inclusive.

Chanele McFarlane  25:37 

Mm-hmm. Absolutely, I mean this is something that I am so passionate about, because, obviously we know networking is key to getting ahead. And if there are barriers that prevent you know large groups of people from accessing the spaces and the people in the room that need to get into then there’s an issue we need to fix that. So first I would say number one it just needs to be more accessible and for me what I have seen it is one where a lot of things with a lot of networking opportunities can be behind closed doors so yes there are networking events that are publicized. But sometimes, a lot of the networking opportunities that are really key to help you get ahead. You may not hear about it’s like those underground networks that you have to know this person and that person to be able to get invited right and so that, I think, creates a lot of barriers for people that aren’t able to get their foot in the door and to be able to connect with people to get ahead. Right, but also I would say accessibility from a financial standpoint and that’s another point that just I get so passionate about because you see these events, and, you know, especially prior to COVID you see these conferences that were 1000s of 1000s of dollars. Yeah, well the typical person that is working you know had their bills maybe has a family does not have 1000s of dollars that they can shell out at a networking event and it could potentially work if you have an employer that can cover that cost for you. But if you don’t then what so you’re not allowed to network, because you don’t have those 1000s of dollars that you can spare for networking. And so that I think is another barrier that we really need to work on and yes I understand you know from an event organizers perspective that you do need to charge, but it does create a barrier and it only, it only allows a certain group of people to be able to afford that. So it really creates that privilege. So that’s one side of things, but then the other side of it I would say is the representation, right if you want to be able to get more people there whether it’s more gender-inclusive, more racially inclusive, then you need to have representation in terms of who’s there if you’re having speakers, then you need to have that representation because for example, I’m not going to feel compelled to attend an event that’s just all you know white men that’s, that’s not going to be intriguing to me I’m not going to spend my money and my time to go to an event where I don’t see myself reflected. And so I would say even personally that’s one reason why I’m so passionate about being a speaker and putting myself out there because I know that there’s not a lot of women like me that are in these spaces and every single time you know I speak somewhere at an event or even being on TV and having segments. I have people reach out and say you don’t understand like how much you’re presence on TV or at that conference meant to me because I don’t often see people that look like me in those spaces and that encourages me to want to put myself out there. So again you know we always say it representation matters but it really does you can’t be what you can’t see. And if you do want to make those events, inclusive but also have an impact, then you really need to think strategically about who you have there, and going beyond your own circles, to reach out you know partner with different groups to see, and make sure that you can make those pieces more inclusive and accessible for all.

Despina Zanganas  28:35 

Yeah, I absolutely agree. I find that one of the ways is just to reach out to different communities and maybe give them free tickets or something like that you know it’s so key to. Yeah, I 100% agree with everything that you’re saying. So let’s switch back a bit. So, how do you select specific events like why do you select one event over another?

Chanele McFarlane  29:02 

Yeah, that’s a good question. So, it’s funny I was say to in the beginning when I really started diving into this world of networking, I attended any and all events I was like yep networking event Sign me up, I don’t care what it is where it is what it is who’s going, I’m just signing up because I want to build my network, and eventually realize number one that’s really draining, you can’t be at everything number two is also very expensive to be everything, but also you realize well, am I actually getting value out of what you’re attending and I think over time you have to be very specific around what events, you’re actually attending and think about what your goal is right, what’s your actual goal, what Who are you looking to meet What are you looking to achieve and how could this event, actually help you get there, who are the people attending that you specifically want to attend like what’s the content that’s going to help you get to, you know, this next level in your career so for me when I am picking an event I am thinking about where I am right now. And, you know, maybe my high-level goals for the future and thinking about how this event can tie into that. Are there any people that I’d like to connect with that can help me with my short term and long term goals, and if you know it meets those criteria, then you’ll start thinking about the cost and when it is and if I can actually attend and so on but I’m really thinking first and foremost about my goals, and if it actually aligned with that and it will help me get closer because again there’s so many events and we could spend every single day attending events and I think it’s important to be mindful about where you spend your time so that you’re actually getting the most value out of the experience.

Despina Zanganas  30:27 

Yeah, you know that that’s a great point I remember when I first started my organization there wasn’t a lot out there you know there was just a few yeah this was in 2013, and then all of a sudden, I don’t know what happened, it just seemed like there is like hundreds of women’s event.

Chanele McFarlane  30:47 

I remember that boom, I remember it, it just felt like every single day there was like this new group coming out like well you know what’s the difference between all of these like I can’t go to all of them it was, I remember that.

Despina Zanganas  30:58 

Yeah, it’s crazy but yeah so you have to be really really strategic way where you go. What would you say is the number one tip or if you have a couple of tip that’s okay to me that you would share with introverts?

Chanele McFarlane  31:14 

Ooh, good question. I would say for an introvert, especially as someone that you know for introvert here at planning ahead. So what I mean by that is, number one going through the guest list and we’ll find you can find the guest list is going through that guest list and seeing who’s attending and seeing if you can make connections ahead of time. So what I love to do is go through that list and connect with people potentially on LinkedIn and just send them a quick note and say hey, you’ll notice that we’re both attending this event, I’d love to connect ahead of time. That’s as simple as that. Most people would be okay with that and connecting with people, especially through a platform like Twitter so of course, we know most events have hashtags and what I love to do is go through the event hashtag, you’ll see if there’s anybody posting make connections that way and start to have conversations and I just find, especially you know prior to COVID but I think even in virtual events it’s helpful, that it just, it makes you more comfortable so that when you actually attend the event you feel like you know someone because I think especially for introverts the most intimidating thing is attending and not knowing anybody feeling like you’re talking to strangers. But if you’ve made at least one connection, ahead of time, that makes the experience a lot more comfortable for you and you’re more likely to feel more comfortable introducing yourself at the event and, you know, I found that actually to be really helpful when I used to again pre COVID attend these international events I used to always attend alone and it’d be really intimidating to fly you know to a different country to go to a networking event where I’d probably know completely. No one. And so what I do is I’d really spend a lot of time connecting with people online, having conversations and even having like a video chat with someone ahead of time, you just connected over the fact we were both attending, and we were able to meet up when we got there and it just made the experience so much better because I didn’t feel like I was going through it alone. And so definitely just planning ahead and making connections and doing your research so that you feel more comfortable when the actual event happens.

Despina Zanganas  33:07 

You know, I actually have a personal experience with that. So, I was going to London and London, England, and there was a Leanin Supper Club in London. And I was like, You know what, I’m going to go check out what they’re doing right so what the organizers did ahead of time is that they sent out a list of everybody who’s attending, and a little bit of their bio, and so I checked everybody out obviously and it was great to see all these people, and I saw that there was a Canadian woman there and she was like a lawyer, she was, you know, working in London. And so I was like I gotta go meet her. But when I got there, there was a bunch of people who approached me and they were like, I saw your bio I’m actually Canadian I was surprised by all the, Canadians there, we still talk to each other and I’m like it’s so amazing. Yeah, It’s so amazing and it was. It’s easier if your event is smaller right. If you’ve got like a 200 person event. It’s a little bit more difficult but definitely, I think connecting with people ahead of time if you can actually get the list and read up about somebody and I think people feel special. Right, So I think that’s key. You know you can talk to them about something that you saw that they refer to on Twitter or LinkedIn or something like that. And instantly connects you. And so, yeah and I love, you know if you’re going internationally. It makes it a lot easier I think that international events because they know people don’t know each other, they tend to share those lists more ahead of time where it’s more relatable

Chanele McFarlane  34:46

Right. Yeah, that’s true. That’s a really good point.

Despina Zanganas  34:50 

Let’s switch it up a bit and talk about pet peeves. What do you think the biggest mistakes that people make are when they’re networking or do you have like a specific pet peeve when it comes to networking?

Chanele McFarlane  35:05 

Oh, I have multiple pet peeves so. Oh my goodness, where do I start so number one pet peeve is when people approach networking only thinking about themselves. You can tell they have not thought about you in any way and they’re just focused on what they want to get out of it, they’re just going into it just about take take take and not thinking about the value that they can provide or what they can give. So, you know we’ve all I’m sure account this person whether it’s you know when we used to a guy and attend events in person, the person that’s just in the conversation just you right away just jumping into their pitch and what they want and then they’re like shoving their business card in your hand like, Oh, that was so icky I just used to hate that so much like I don’t even know you like we don’t even know if we have a connection or if there’s value in the US having any kind of you know relationship or maintain that connection you’re shoving your business card in my hand. I just really, it just does not look very good I think it’s better to have a conversation. If you decide that you both want to exchange business cards that’s one thing but it was always those people that would just enter a conversation and right away just kind of handing out their cars that used to be a big pet peeve of mine. And what else would I say, I would say when you’re making introductions to people. So that’s another I think a virtual sort of pet peeve of mine when you’re networking and let’s say for example you want to make an introduction to two people. And I think the pet peeve for me is when I’m not asked if I mind my email being given out. So, I think the best practice you should always if you’re making an introduction between two people, you should ask both people if you mind sharing their emails I think emails are something that we should still, you know, hold in regard and respect and not just give out people’s information and so I love if someone shoots me a note and says, Hey, I’d love to introduce you to this person, this person would like to meet you. Would you mind if I share your email, and so you can make the connection or I make the connection with you too. And I say, Usually, I’ll say hey you know what thanks for asking me. No problem. I’d be happy to connect with that person but I think just taking that step to actually ask the person if they mind, and that that goes a long way. So I would say that’s another pet peeve of mine. And then the other one I would say, I’ve noticed has come up quite a bit is people that only want to connect with you, especially on a platform like LinkedIn to just sort of go through your connections, and I’ll share a bit of a story I’ve had this happen where I’ve had people where they’ve connected with me and be connected for whatever reason I accepted it, and then go through my connections and reach out to them and say hey you know I know Chanele is now recommended I connect with you. And I yeah and I’ve never met the person never had a conversation I did not say such thing. And thankfully you know the person who said was like hey no I had this person reached out and like just wanted to make sure, and so the lesson from that is to really curate your network. Because it can be really tough when someone is using your name and going out there to make introductions and you don’t really have awareness of that and so I’m very careful now with who I add to my network, and I say it’s better to have a very specific message when you’re adding someone LinkedIn on LinkedIn to see why you want to connect with them. But I’m also just looking at the person seeing if we have a connection like if you’re someone that has two connections on LinkedIn I’m probably I’m very sorry but probably not going to add you just because I have to be very clear we should all be very careful about who we have in our networks because unfortunately there are people that are going to do that. And so don’t feel bad about wanting to intentionally curate your network and being very intentional about who you let in because there are people unfortunately that will take advantage of that and you don’t want anything to tarnish your personal brand and your name because you know they’re using their name or your name sorry to get introduced to other people.

Despina Zanganas  38:57 

Yeah that’s happened to me several times. Yeah, somebody reached out and actually said, Hey, so and so said that we absolutely need to talk. And I was like okay and, like, I added her and I’m like so what did she say we, why did she think we should connect and she never answered, and I was like okay you just want access and then I saw started adding all these knew so I suspect that she said the same thing to them

Chanele McFarlane  39:30 

Oh, yeah, that’s the thing and like you just have to be so careful with that I think that’s just, oh, it actually that reminded me when you mentioned that of another pet peeve of when you add someone and then right away they messaged you with this pitch like Oh would you be interested in buying this or would you want to sign up for my program like we haven’t even had a conversation you haven’t even taken a second to get to know me and that has happened so many times but they say hey thanks for connecting I’m recruiting people for this program, we’d like to be a part of it. I say no and then they say would you mind actually sending this to a few people or recommending people that you think I should do and I’m like, Well, I don’t know you so how can I go and you know make recommendations so it’s. Oh, there’s so many pet peeves

Despina Zanganas  40:11 

I would say that I probably get about two pitches per day. It’s crazy. It’s crazy and I’m just like how. Yeah. And you can tell that they’ve not read my profile like we would not be a good connection that I’m just like I know it’s spam right and it’s super frustrating.

Despina Zanganas  40:29 

So, I want to try something fun. So this is something I do with all of my guests, there’s this game that I play. And basically what I do is I ask you Is there somebody that you would love to meet so this person has to be alive, and they can’t be this mega-celebrity. But is there somebody that you’ve always wanted to meet?

Chanele McFarlane  40:54 

Yeah, that is a really good question and I was thinking about it, and you know it is a really big question really tough. And it was funny so instead of me thinking about it I actually asked my husband. Okay, so you know, who do you think that I would really like to meet. And he was like oh I know I know that woman that has the new, new show and I was like who are you talking about, and I was like, Oh Ginella Massa.

So of course you know watching the news, but whenever she comes on the TV it’s like I’m just captivated like I stop what I’m doing like even when I’m holding my daughter and I just think she is so wonderful. And I’m such a fangirl, and so Oh Ginella Massa for those that don’t know she’s the host of the new show on CBC Canada tonight. I just think she’s amazing. I honestly like anything like whenever she’s talking I’m like oh my gosh she’s just so wonderful. I think she’s just so intelligent, I think she’s also super gorgeous like whenever she’s on the screen I’m like oh my gosh she’s just so amazing. So I think, honestly, I would just love to meet her because I think obviously she’s such a trailblazer in Canada in the media industry. And, yeah, just a wonderful incredible woman of colour that is just doing amazing things and I look up to her and I’m such a fan so I’d have to say Ginella Massa.

Despina Zanganas  42:09 

Okay, that’s really cool I actually saw her speak in an event before. Yeah, she was a great speaker and we had a little chat, but I didn’t actually get her contact info would have been great. But, yeah, the reason I ask is, you know, I want to reach out to all of our listeners. I’m sure you know this is Toronto she’s based in Toronto, if there’s anybody that knows Ginella, I would love to be connect her

Chanele McFarlane  42:39 

oh my gosh already I’m like thinking about it like when I see her on TV I’m like so excited so so yeah. Yes Please help me.

Despina Zanganas  2:21 

If there’s anybody out there that knows Ginella please email me at me@iamdespina.com, and then let’s connect Chanele and Ginella.

Chanele McFarlane  2:33 

Yeah Ginella if you’re listening I love you I think you’re awesome like please meet I just need five minutes to tell you how incredible you are.

Despina Zanganas  43:11 

So you know we’re nearing the end of the show, and before we end. I always take some questions from our listeners so I just want to talk about this first one. This is from Susan, I recognize the importance of building my brand, but I don’t even know where to start. Can you provide advice, should I be connecting with a coach, you know, what do I do.

Chanele McFarlane  43:33 

Mm-hmm. So I would say before so diving in I know it can be very tempting to just dive right in and start posting content and I think it’s important to number one think about why you actually want to build your brand. I think especially right now building a brand is really trendy and I think is important to think about, like, why do you want to build your brand, what are your goals. What are you hoping to achieve, and what impact would you like to have, and then also what would you actually like to be known for right because you can be a lot more strategic when you know Okay, those are the two-three core topics or areas of expertise that I would like to build my brand around, and then you can start thinking about what are the types of content and what are the things I need to do to actually make that happen so that would be the first thing, and, and then just start to think about what can you actually do to brand yourself in that area right content is a big part of personal branding especially right now in this digital world. And so once you know Okay, these are the two-three core areas of expertise that I would like to build my brand around. You can then start thinking about what are the types of content that I can put out there so that people start to make that association with those areas of expertise that I’d like to be known for so you know you can start thinking about different types of content, whether it’s a blog for me it’s been a blog and some people have a podcast. Some people have newsletters. Some people like to do some public speaking. There are so many different things that you can choose and I call those pieces of content, a content pillar so what’s that pillar of content that’s going to support your brand and to help to build. Again this persona around these areas of expertise. And another thing that I find really helpful is to do a competitive analysis so just thinking about people that are in the area that you’d like to brand yourself in and just seeing like what are they doing really well what are they maybe not doing so well what things do you really like and what things do you think that you could maybe put your own personal spin on. And when you start to put yourself out there and your brand so those are some core questions I think that are really important to think about and work out before you approach a coach I’m not saying, approaching working with the coach isn’t helpful, but I think a lot of that work you can do on your own, so that if you do decide to get some help. You already have in mind, sort of the direction that you’d like to go and the area that you’d like to actually focus on and I think the key is to have a strategy isn’t have to be a concrete strategy that you don’t change but having just some ideas in mind of what you’d actually like to build your brand around.

Despina Zanganas  45:50 

One of the things about your brand that I absolutely love is that it’s visually consistent. And the reason I say that is you know my background, when I first started my career is in graphic design so I really recognized that and I think that was super eye-catching for me because it kind of brought everything together. It was more than just the blog and you know the consistent blog. You know Twitter feed and LinkedIn and all that. Do you think that’s something that people should consider right away or is that kind of secondary?

Chanele McFarlane  46:30 

Yeah, that’s a good question. So I would say when I first started I did not have the consistency so I think in the beginning it’s important to just start personally because I think sometimes you can get so wrapped up in the design and all these different elements that you get overwhelmed, they don’t actually start so I think in the beginning it’s okay to just start, but eventually you know maybe, you know, a few months in and when you have a bit more time you have a sense of how your content is working you started to connect more with people, then you can start to actually spend some time refining your brand and start to focus on those visual elements, I would say yes, those are important now and I think especially with branding, you know the reason why people start to eventually associate you with again your areas of expertise is because they’ve come in contact with your brand and your brand touch points so many different times and you’re consistent across different platforms so you know whether you come across me on LinkedIn or on Instagram, you’re going to see the same colors use I’m a big fan of using yellows and pinks that’s just my brand. And so when you’re seeing those colours, then you’re like well you know what that’s that’s a piece of Chanele’s content, and so eventually that starts to get ingrained in your mind and, but also I think the. I think they say like the average person, you know needs to come across something, and I can’t remember the exact number of times but need to be exposed to it a certain number of times for it to really become reinforced and so when you’re using consistent colours consistent messaging and that just again that only helps your brand. It helps to reinforce the areas of the topics that you’d like to be known for so it definitely has value to spend time on on the visual elements.

Despina Zanganas  47:56 

That’s a great point. So let’s go on to the next question from Simone, so Simone asks, I’m a business coach, and I’d like to do more public speaking, because I’ve heard that’s where people connect. Where do you think I should start? How do I get noticed? I really don’t have enough money right now. Right, and a lot of money to promote myself.

Chanele McFarlane  48:19 

Yeah, so I get this question quite a bit. And I would say you know what you don’t have to spend money on promoting yourself there’s so many things that you can do right now, and to continue to get opportunities so the first I would say is making sure that you’re actually letting people know. And what I mean by that is actually adding in your profiles, whether it’s your LinkedIn headline, adding in your bio, your Twitter bio your background, your background images that you have on social media, letting people know that you are a speaker and that sounds like a pretty small thing but you’d be surprised like just actually putting yourself out there and claiming the fact that you’re a public speaker is letting people know that you are available for public speaking opportunities so that would be number one, and then on a regular basis, actively putting out content that tells people that you are open to speaking opportunities every few months I put out a specific post saying hey Just a reminder, and I’m available for, you know, keynotes to be a guest on a podcast. And here are the topics that I speak on. Here’s how you can reach me, and I link to my website where I actually have a specific speaking page, and that is also key to have a page, even if it’s just, again one page on your website where you list out your core areas of expertise, past events that you’ve spoken for any testimonials. If you have any clips of past speaking engagements or podcasts that you’ve been on slap that all together on a page and link to that, that goes a really long way because when people are searching for speakers. They want to be able to look at all that see your past experience and then they can reach out to you so that’s, I would say, number one, and then from there, just sharing content on your expertise right people want to see what you’re an expert in, and that’s the best way to have people actually reach out to you because if you share know really awesome blog posts that you read on a topic that, again, you’re an expert on and someone reads them like you know what like I’d actually love to invite you to be on a panel if you wrote this great blog post I think you could elaborate or. I’ve had people say oh I’ve read this blog post that you’ve written, I’d love if you could come on the podcast and explain this a little bit more and talk to it, or Oh would you mind coming to speak to my group he wrote this blog post on personal branding so that happens to me all the time it’s my content that really allows people to reach out to me because they say okay you know what you have this really unique angle, and I’d love for you to be able to come speak to my community, or my audience on this topic so content can really go a long way, and then maybe one of the tip I’d add is you can actually apply to events a lot of events will put out a call for speakers so if you just do a quick search on Google call for speakers, 2021, or even head to 2022. You can see different conferences that are looking for speakers, and usually, it just has the application process there. And that’s another way that you could potentially get some speaking events or speaking engagements, without actually you know having to pay to promote yourself so hopefully those work for you.

Despina Zanganas  50:59 

That’s a great point I remember when we were trying to get speakers, it was always a struggle like we were the ones searching on LinkedIn to find the appropriate people, and sometimes it was tough right because you want to make sure that you represent all groups and stuff like that so absolutely, you know, reach out to these people is they keep a database for sure.

Chanele McFarlane  51:18 

Exactly, exactly.

Despina Zanganas  51:25 

So hopefully we answered your question Simone. So that brings us to the end of our show. Thank you so much Chanele for being here. It was great to reconnect. And I’m really looking forward to watching you on LinkedIn and staying in touch.

Chanele McFarlane  51:36 

Thank you. I’m really happy to be a part of the podcast so thank you so much for having me Despina.

Never Eat Alone, Expanded And Updated: And Other Secrets To Success, One Relationship At A Time
by Keith Ferrazzi

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